Maternity Photos? I'll Pass

No, I'm not taking maternity pictures

My husband and I established this fact around week 6 of this pregnancy: no maternity photos would be taken.

My husband is my champion. I could probably tell him I wanted to name the baby Lorax, and he'd agree and defend little Lorax and I til the end.

So, when we were talking to a family member last week they brought up a cute idea for the maternity photos (which they assumed would be taken-- laugh out loud here as I remind everyone that we're both graduate students and count our pennies precariously, and this person definitely hadn't offered to pay for any such hypothetical pictures).

Anyway, husband told them without missing a beat that we weren't going to take maternity pictures because we felt  they weren't very us.

Said relative's jaw dropped and they uttered a "really?" with baited breath. I smiled and nodded, refraining from giving them much more explanation because I'm really trying to work on feeling like I owe people an answer when I don't. 

Also, don't get me wrong.  I love to coo at cute pictures my friends post on social media from just about any type of photo shoot.  I love the sentimentality of it, and the artistry that goes into photography.  However, I do feel like it's valid to talk about why I'm not a fan of maternity pictures for myself and why it can be a little grating to the small camp that feels similarly.

My pregnancy hasn't been glamorous

Say what you want about this, but I can acknowledge the miraculous nature of what my body is doing without feeling empowered aesthetically.  There are times when I glance in the mirror and think "wow, how cool that my body is holding another body," but I'm tired of being told and having it implied that I should feel wrong for not feeling beautiful during this stage of life. 

Miraculous, but beautiful? My body has literally been starved down from throwing up multiple times a day for months, and then it added on that and another 15 lbs in a short time after. My skin has had some of the worst breakouts since before I took medicine for acne in high school. Oh, and I've been getting a new stretch mark every day since Week 25.

My ribs hurt. My neck hurts. I waddle. I'm not tall, and the baby is doing nothing but crowding my stomach acid into my throat so that I have to sleep on a freaking pillow wedge just to sleep.

Y'all, I don't feel pretty, and honestly I have no desire to remember these little incidental details.  I am blessed and thankful to be carrying a healthy baby so far, but hyperemesis and everything that has followed are not things I am writing off as normal or minor drawbacks. 

This really sucks some days, and I have no desire to remember this period of carrying her when she is truly the prize at the end.

Plus, if we ever want to make another addition to our little pack it'll take an act of faith, and the fewer reminders of this the better haha.

The pictures have nothing to do with my baby

Again, I'd rather go and get more elective ultrasounds of her than have pictures taken of my husband and I.  I'm sure there will be some cute pictures staged at the baby shower, but the thought of frolicking through the wilderness or lounging across a chair half-naked and wrapped in a sheet of well placed linen makes me uncomfortable. 

Like, you can't see the baby. All that is there is my stretched, sad, half-in half-out belly button. Again, see above, I'm not particularly fond of this body, and I don't know why I would have pictures taken celebrating a kid that you can't see yet.

That being said, I will be the most obsessive mom-photographer and there will be no stopping me from posing and dressing her in adorable get ups.

Hospital Bag Packing List for Planners and Procrastinators

As anyone reading this blog can collect, I am a planner. I like having control, and I use that as a means of managing my anxious tendencies.  Knowing details and preparing for different situations always helps me focus on the bigger picture when it comes to handling stressful situations.

The "hospital bag" question is all the rage on forums, in pregnancy groups, across blogs.  We definitely aren't going to reinvent the wheel here, but rather I hope to give some hope to others who are grappling with the need to prepare, but also realize that a lot of things will probably be superfluous or impractical to pack ahead of time.

2 Phase Approach

So, I offer you the solution I've settled on:

Break your "hospital bag" prep into two phases or stages. Phase 1: Bug-Out Bag. Phase 2: Full-term bag.

This approach works best for me, but that is given that I have had a very low-risk pregnancy (following my fight with hyperemesis gravidarum). My doctor, insofar as doctor's predict, doesn't foresee pre-term labor happening in my case.  Baby has measured on track from the beginning, my tests and screens have all been normal, and I've maintained a healthy diet and exercise routine following getting my sickness under control.  Of course these things can all change instantly, but given these circumstances, I am comfortable with prepping in the way I'm going to describe!

Phase 1: "Bug Out" Bag

I really wanted to pack a glorious bag to share with everyone at the start of this achey, breaky third trimester. I did, but even inside my deepest over-planning fantasy it struck me that more than likely I had another 2 or 3 months left in this pregnancy. 

So, after some frustration with myself, I decided that instead I would prep a bag in case something did happen unexpectedly-- i.e. in case I ended up in a pre-term labor situation. 

In my case, it's my "bug out" bag, because there is no way predictable but there are definitely some essentials that would be necessary. In my mind, this situation would occur prior to 36 weeks, and in those cases the baby is almost always kept in NICU for a longer period than the mother is admitted to the hospital.  In my mind, that means that there's going to be way more driving back and forth between the hospital for my husband and I, so the need for many things we'd otherwise want is irrelevant.

My essentials in this bag are:

• a phone charger
• deodorant
• insurance cards
• pair of cozy socks
• pajamas (old pair for post labor)
• change of clothes
• Bible
• toothbrush and toothpaste

Phase 2: Full-Term Bag

This is the bag I plan on packing around 36-37 weeks.  It'll have some of the things that I seek more out of comfort than anything as well as things for my husband and baby.

Clothing

• 2 sets of maternity pajamas to wear after giving birth
• nursing bras
• nice-ish robe to wear over pajamas when we have visitors
• fuzzy, non-skid socks (these are in my shopping cart)
• super cozy (big) underwear
• loose dress (to wear home) 
• maternity leggings to go under dress 

Baby Items

• baby girl's homecoming outfit
• cute receiving blanket to take pictures of her during hospital stay
• cute hat
• breast pump! I'm going to take advantage of the lactation consultant my hospital provides and get help with it

Misc. Items

• Bose Bluetooth Speaker: to play music through while laboring
• multi-USB plug in: for phone chargers and other electronics
• Camera: (I have a Canon that I love to use for actual memorable moments); this may or may not get used very much, but if I'm feeling well enough I hope to get some decent photos of her during our stay
• Laptop: either for my husband or myself; check ahead to see if your hospital has internet! We have a birth announcement template that we plan on filling in and using for social media

Beauty/Toiletries

• Coconut oil has been my go to during the pregnancy because a) I've been stretch-marking like wild,  b) coconut oil doesn't have a smell like most other lotions and moisturizers, and c) I hate the feeling of dry skin and lips! I'm sure that after that first shower post-labor I will want to slather it on.  Usually I just use a giant container we got on sale at Kroger, but I'm running out of that and we have a backup container of this from amazon!
• Ponds cold cream cleanser and moisturizer: my go-to's for washing and moisturizing my face
• Basic makeup: foundation, powder, blush, mascara; I know people are of different camps about whether or not this matters/should matter, but I know I will feel so much more confident and comfortable if the inevitable pictures don't feature me with a blotchy face. Particularly, I know my sensitive skin and I'll probably be 7 shades of red and uneven following labor 
• Deodorant, Toothbrush kit, Shampoo, and Conditioner: I'm not too picky about these things, and will probably switch over the travel sizes from the bug-out bag when I get close to time. 
• Also, I picked up a super cheap toothbrush kit like this from Was-Mart for around $.97!!!