Monday, June 5, 2017

Maternity Photos? I'll Pass



No, I'm not taking maternity pictures


My husband and I established this fact around week 6 of this pregnancy: no maternity photos would be taken.

My husband is my champion. I could probably tell him I wanted to name the baby Lorax, and he'd agree and defend little Lorax and I til the end.

So, when we were talking to a family member last week they brought up a cute idea for the maternity photos (which they assumed would be taken-- laugh out loud here as I remind everyone that we're both graduate students and count our pennies precariously, and this person definitely hadn't offered to pay for any such hypothetical pictures).

Anyway, husband told them without missing a beat that we weren't going to take maternity pictures because we felt  they weren't very us.

Said relative's jaw dropped and they uttered a "really?" with baited breath. I smiled and nodded, refraining from giving them much more explanation because I'm really trying to work on feeling like I owe people an answer when I don't. 

Also, don't get me wrong.  I love to coo at cute pictures my friends post on social media from just about any type of photo shoot.  I love the sentimentality of it, and the artistry that goes into photography.  However, I do feel like it's valid to talk about why I'm not a fan of maternity pictures for myself and why it can be a little grating to the small camp that feels similarly.

My pregnancy hasn't been glamorous


Say what you want about this, but I can acknowledge the miraculous nature of what my body is doing without feeling empowered aesthetically.  There are times when I glance in the mirror and think "wow, how cool that my body is holding another body," but I'm tired of being told and having it implied that I should feel wrong for not feeling beautiful during this stage of life. 

Miraculous, but beautiful? My body has literally been starved down from throwing up multiple times a day for months, and then it added on that and another 15 lbs in a short time after. My skin has had some of the worst breakouts since before I took medicine for acne in high school. Oh, and I've been getting a new stretch mark every day since Week 25.

My ribs hurt. My neck hurts. I waddle. I'm not tall, and the baby is doing nothing but crowding my stomach acid into my throat so that I have to sleep on a freaking pillow wedge just to sleep.

Y'all, I don't feel pretty, and honestly I have no desire to remember these little incidental details.  I am blessed and thankful to be carrying a healthy baby so far, but hyperemesis and everything that has followed are not things I am writing off as normal or minor drawbacks. 

This really sucks some days, and I have no desire to remember this period of carrying her when she is truly the prize at the end.

Plus, if we ever want to make another addition to our little pack it'll take an act of faith, and the fewer reminders of this the better haha.


The pictures have nothing to do with my baby

Again, I'd rather go and get more elective ultrasounds of her than have pictures taken of my husband and I.  I'm sure there will be some cute pictures staged at the baby shower, but the thought of frolicking through the wilderness or lounging across a chair half-naked and wrapped in a sheet of well placed linen makes me uncomfortable. 

Like, you can't see the baby. All that is there is my stretched, sad, half-in half-out belly button. Again, see above, I'm not particularly fond of this body, and I don't know why I would have pictures taken celebrating a kid that you can't see yet.


That being said, I will be the most obsessive mom-photographer and there will be no stopping me from posing and dressing her in adorable get ups.



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